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Saturday, September 19, 2009

They Can Dish It Out, But.....

I am a little frustrated, as I normally keep my thoughts on public school vs. homeschool to myself unless asked, and even then I am usually very reserved in giving my true thoughts. I usually go out of my way to be very loving and supportive of all my friends and family when it comes to the decisions we as parents have to make for our families. I am only responsible, with my husband, for such decisions, for MY family, not anybody else's, so it's really not my place to pass any sort of judgements.

At times, this means literally biting my tongue, because as you know if you read here often enough, I DO have pretty strong opinions and thoughts on the matter. But, in everyday life, in person, I am rarely so bold in speaking my mind, VERY rarely!!

Well, that's all fine and dandy, but am I given that same courtesy? Not often! Far more often than I can even count "concerned" friends and family question our homeschooling. Some even go as far as inviting us into their homes, then quizzing my kids to be sure I'm doing a fine enough job I suppose. Now what if I were to turn the tables and quiz their children? Probably wouldn't go over so well would it?

We get all the concern over my middle sons socialization. I admit, this child is terribly shy. Painfully shy. I don't even try and deny it. It's so obvious, that there's not any way I could keep it a secret or anything. But, why does one assume that it is a result of homeschooling? I have four boys at home presently. Three are social butterflies, all have been homeschooled their whole lives. If homeschooling were the culprit of my middle child's shyness, wouldn't all of them be shy? Hmmm...I would think so, but apparently not all of my friends or family agree. Somehow they seem to think this is the fault of homeschooling, and public school would solve this problem. First off, I doubt it would cure his shyness, and secondly at what cost? This is a very bright child of above average intelligence. So, I put him in school and let's say he does overcome his shyness, but according to what I've seen come out of these schools his education would be highly lacking, not to mention as a quiet child he would likely be the target of bullies, and what about his morals, character and the biblical training we are trying to instill here at home? Give all that up in hopes that maybe just maybe he overcomes his shyness. I think not!

But, these caring friends think nothing of being so quick to blame my homeschooling for this personality flaw as they see it, but what if I dared mentioned that I thought their child's hyperactivity were a result of their schooling methods or choices? Or suggested that their bully of a child might be cured by the structure and nurturing homeschool provides? Again, it probably wouldn't go over so well.

Yet, I am to sit here and smile while my school choice and in a sense my family is attacked, yet if I dare turn the tables, I am the evil one?

On the rare occasion I have spoken up, usually after being repetitively attacked, the offender winds up in tears and says how they feel I am attacking them!

On many days, I feel like "no more Mister(or in this case Mrs.) Nice Guy." If you want to dish it out, then you better be able to take it! But the truth of the matter is I am nice, often too nice. That's just not my nature to intentionally offend anyone for any reason, even if I was first offended.

Most people by now know my thoughts on government education. Most also know that I will keep those thoughts to myself(with the exception of this blog) In most cases I know their thoughts on homeschooling. If you want me to be respectful of your choices and not make you feel like I am judging you or heaven forbid make you cry, shouldn't you at least do the same for me?

We are in our thirteenth year, this is more than a phase I will outgrow. If I haven't tired of it yet, chances are I'm not going to. As a matter of fact I am even MORE convicted, now than ever that homeschooling is the best choice for my family. So, your two cents worth aren't even going to be processed before it goes in one ear and out the other. Don't waste your time. But, if you insist, be prepared, as I will give you my two cents as well, then some!

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