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Monday, October 11, 2010

Life Isn't Fair, Get Over It!!

The past couple of days I have heard, seen, and read a lot of whining about things not being "fair." Surprisingly, this wasn't from children, but in all cases adults!

On a homeschool board I lurk at one mother was complaining because she had one child in public school and one homeschooled, and she felt it wasn't "fair" for the public school child to miss out on field trips and other fun activities that the homeschooled child may get to participate in.

At a recent gathering I recently attended, I overheard a mother complaining it wasn't "fair" that one daughter got invited to a friends for a sleepover and not her other daughter. She was bragging that she actually told the parent inviting the child that she wasn't to ever ask again for one child to sleep over without asking the other!!

I have three boys left at home ages (almost) 4, 11, and (almost)14. There are plenty of times things aren't' "fair" around here. One gets invited to a party or outing but not the others. Do I demand the inviting family invite ALL of my kids? I think not!! What does that teach them?

They need to learn young, that not everything in life is always fair. In most cases it rarely is. The exception to this may be the public school class room where everyone is a winner and everyone gets to be student of the month at least once, and everyone passes the grade regardless of their ability to actually do the next grade level of work.

At work as an adult, someone undeserving may get a raise, while some one deserving gets passed up. Fair? No, but that's life. Better to learn to deal with it at a young age then to grow up expecting and having always had everything be fair thanks to mom.

Recently my oldest son in the military, had to do extra push ups for being late to muster. Meanwhile 2 other Sailors were even later and didn't have to do the push ups. My son was quite angry because it wasn't "fair." I told him the same thing I am telling everyone here "Life isn't fair, get over it!!"

I think the schools, sports organizations and even parents are doing a great disservice to today's young children by making sure every body's always a winner. These kids grow up believing this then have serious issues when they learn that's not the way real life works.

As parents, we are to teach and train our children these valuable life lessons. As painful as it may be to watch a younger child's tears over not being invited along with big brother or sis to a sleep over or other outing, the tears are only temporary and the valuable life lessons being taught will take them well into their adult years!

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