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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy in Their Unhappiness?

My twelve year old repeated something to me that his martial arts instructor told him the other night; "Some people find their happiness in being unhappy."

Odd as it sounds, I think he just may be right. The more I am on social networking sites and even just talking to friends, family or acquaintances, I am more convinced than ever he's on to something!

Some people seem to focus on only the negatives in their lives, never even able to recognize the positives.  Some people make it a habit or practice to complain, complain, complain. Bizarre as it may seem, I think they ENJOY it! Just what it is they are getting out of it or enjoying, I am not sure. Could it be the attention or sympathy it draws?

Don't get me wrong, we ALL have plenty of negatives in our lives. I know I do in mine. I am even known to voice those or complain about them from time to time. We are all human, I think it's only natural. But, I am talking about people, that that's ALL they do.

Sometimes the same person will complain about everything from their family troubles, to what they see as major health issues, to being tired, to money woes, to....well, you get the point. It NEVER ends!

Friends, Facebook, forums and especially our families are all safe places to voice our concerns or woes. That's what friends are for. But, they are also to share our joys with as well. Surely, no matter how bad things may seem, there are SOME joys. I mean, you woke up this morning, right? Did the sun shine? Did someone smile at you? No matter how small they may seem, surely we all have SOME joy in our lives, do we not? Why not make it a habit to share those as well? When a friend or family member calls to share a great joy in their lives with you, are you able to share in that joy with them? Is that friend even able to share that joy with you, or do they have to listen to YOUR woes for hours on end, and end up so depressed themselves, they forget why they called?

I am surprised that my friends who ARE going through things most of us could never even imagine and pray we never have to, are NOT the ones complaining! I have some who are battling serious, life threatening diseases. I have some who are struggling with the loss of a child. I have yet others who have lost wealth, home and more all in one clean sweep. Yet, those are not the ones who busy themselves with whining and complaining, though, those are the ones who are certainly entitled, in my opinion. I am sure they must feel like complaining, yet they don't.

What is the difference in these people? Those who complain for sport, and those who it would certainly be understandable if they did, yet they don't? I am not sure to be honest. But I know which person I want to be more like! I know I don't want to be the person who people avoid answering the phone for, or who is hidden on the Facebook feed. I don't want to be a joy zapper, I want to be a joy enabler!  I may not always feel joyful, but that doesn't mean I can't try to bring a little to others. Who knows, maybe in the process I will even find a little for myself.

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